when i said what i said, i didn't mean anything.

i want to crawl inside, behind your eyes
i could live inside your underlines,
in between your pencil lines
pick apart your brainy thoughts,
and make a nest
in the bottom left corner
of your beating heart.

i want to make a mistake.

i can feel myself slipping
the space between
my bones and skin
red and screaming
torn in two
the flood or dry land

this could very well be the truth.

i'm so scared
that you don't ever think about me
and terrified,
that you are all i think of
and i want to go back
and say how i felt the second i felt it
and tell you the truth,
everything about me
like i wanted you to keep me safe
and i'd have held your hand any day, every day
but i act so tough with all my heavy walls
you broke them all down,
but i made you think they were made of stone
and now i think you're made of the same
when i saw you there, standing in the dark
my heart skipped a beat for the rest of the night
i'm not so tough, i'm not so brave
i hugged you and i felt sadness and joy
i wanted everything to be in a different place
and your stare would have lasted minutes longer
and i wouldn't have turned and walked away.

rainy days and mondays always get me down

i'm sick inside
my head is full of bees
attracting the opposites
i am only a distraction
no stars tonight
i'm covered in the dark
floods and moths right oustide
i wish you'd open my door
and i'd wash away
no boat in sight
i'd wash away under an empty sky

sometimes these things happen.

cold air blowing from the ceiling
sad songs coming through the speakers
crying like i did when i was younger
even my bones feel all alone

bad movie repeat.

get out of my head
unwanted obsession
tainted black memory
you make me sick
numbness is better
numbness would be perfection
static for my eyes
simple, noise
drown your voice out
forget and not regret

even.

my heart pounds
what is too much?
you told me too much
my thoughts drip like water
and seep into the the cracks
and dry up under the floorboards
i'm mistaken, you were a mistake
what is too far?
i took it too far
my plans, all wrapped up in glass
i went to take your hand
and then it all was broken
what makes it someone's fault?
lies in the corners of your smile
your honesty looked nice on paper
until i lit the match
it's all my fault,
it's all your fault.