bet you didn't know i couldn't swim.

never again.
i was safe
in shallow water,
you, and your mystery
pulling me in the deep
and let go
i sink, lower
where's your hand?
lower, breathing in
i'm heavy now,
you watch me drown.

potential for disaster.

i think i need a paper bag
and deep breaths, steady
in, in, out, hear me out
a few steps back
my heart is growing
thawing out
i'm clawing at the walls
never know if i am ready
never know anything
nervous, shake, and shiver
your few steps back
i'm rethinking everything
alone, alone, alone
i should stay this way
maybe i should stay the same.

new skin, new territory.

thinking in blurs
oh, dear
i remember forgetting
pitch black kisses
shivers in my spine
stop, hault, stay put
just a little fall,
straight lines, i'm trying
your hands, a storm
no shoreline in sight
but i am safe til morning.

now, now, slow, down.

cement head
drip, drip
frozen fist
and delicate
floating up
calm me down
slow to speak
quick to fall
eyes wide
hammer to heart
break me down

swimming is like drowning when your feet are filled with lead.

this is not about you
but my cheeks say different
pleasant pain
surprise lights upstairs
few words, that stereo song
this feels safe, like drowning
you feel safe, like home
repeat, my lips that move
my awkward rhymes
i'm following your lead,
but from far away
there's a body of water
between and deep
i never learned to swim
but lessons, i 'll take
with shaky limbs,
across, close, then closer.

loose lips sink ships.

i failed
footsteps turned
the opposite way
i fall short
this is what they speak of
with lips not red enough
or eyes not deep
no, more hurtful still
my tattered life
crumbling the more i say
this is what i want
our unrequited dreams
i will never be what you want
this is what they speak of
and words fail me now.

protect what beats inside.

in that moonlight haze
i feel hesitation in my bones
and will my roots start spreading
deeper if you choose to stay
that tingle in my fingertips
a light when you are in sight
i'm broken and bruised,
whirlwind brain, cement walls up
every solitary second, torn
i'm crawling upside down
blindfolded, limbs out, reaching
i want, i want, i want
everything i cannot have